I remember when my social anxiety was at its peak going outside could seem daunting. The solitude and security of home was far more preferable to running the gauntlet of (perceived) threats and negative stares from going outdoors. But staying insider forever isn’t an option for most people, unless you’re a reclusive millionaire that can hide in their luxury apartment without having to go to work. For this reason, social anxiety can often be confused with agoraphobia, when the two conditions are actually different branches of the anxiety disorders tree.

What is agoraphobia?

As you probably already know, social phobia is a fear of social situations and the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings they can trigger. The most up-to-date research believes this is due to our bodies perceiving threats inaccurately and then triggering our ‘fight or flight’ mode. The result is that our heart rate increases, we become more aware of our surroundings and we feel anxious in anticipation of an imminent threat. It’s also believed that social anxiety disorder commonly develops during childhood, as a result of negative social experiences that cause the formation of an inaccurate belief system on the threat posed by other people.

Agoraphobia, on the other hand, isn’t a fear of people but rather a fear of having a panic attack in an open space without the ability to escape. It can be triggered whenever people with agoraphobia feel as though they are in a situation they can’t control, and no longer feel the security of their home surroundings. Like social anxiety, when sufferers are outside of their comfort zone then their ‘fight of flight’ mode is triggered, leading to a sense of panic, anxiety and fear of perceived threats (which don’t actually exist).

Agoraphobia is believed to develop as a result of genetics, life experiences and individual temperament, which cause people to reach a heightened sense of anxiety and a fear of having a panic attack in public spaces. Unlike social anxiety, people with agoraphobia can function perfectly normally around other people in their own home, where they feel safe. They can chat, laugh and feel relaxed around strangers. It’s only when they step out of the door that their threat impulses kick in and they start to panic and feel afraid.

While the conditions differ, treatment is the same 

Social anxiety and agoraphobia both fall underneath the umbrella term of anxiety disorders. While the triggers are different the symptoms and treatment are the same. Both social phobia and agoraphobia can be treated through changing the subconscious belief system that drives them. Both conditions can have a wide range of severities, and as such the treatment required needs to be tailored for the individual.

As always, the first step is to visit your doctor (or in severe cases they should be able to come to your home) for a diagnosis and professional advice on the best course of action. This could include cognitive behavioural therapy, to address the negative and inaccurate thoughts driving the anxiety disorder, medication to dampen the symptoms and other types of therapy, such as gradual exposure or group therapy.

The key takeaway from this post is that both agoraphobia and social anxiety are treatable conditions. They are both well researched conditions with a diagnosis and a cure. As such, you don’t have to live with them forever. The first step is reaching out and asking for help and then finding the path that will enable you to challenge your inaccurate, uncomfortable thoughts and rewire your brain to attend social events and to go out in public without fear.

The Shyness and Social Anxiety System is a social phobia support program created by Sean Cooper, an ex-sufferer of social anxiety and shyness. Comprising of three eBooks and a private member’s support group, Sean’s system provides a guide to the latest thinking on what causes social anxiety and the techniques he developed to overcome it and live a more fulfilling life.

There’s no shortage of books and websites that already cover the principles of what causes social anxiety and how it can be treated. And most of them are, quite frankly, cheaper than Sean’s $29 system. So is the investment worth it? Does it offer anything new that can knock aside the social phobia barrier that’s blocking your enjoyment of life? Or does it cover the same advice you can easily find elsewhere for less money?

What does the Shyness and Social Anxiety System cover?

The main 113 page eBook in the Shyness and Social Anxiety System takes a pragmatic approach to overcoming social phobia. Rather than dwell on the past and allow excuses for avoiding human interaction, it focuses on practical steps you can take to improve your social skills and life.

The first section discusses why social anxiety (in most instances) is a ‘learned behaviour’ driven by an extreme fear of people’s disapproval. While genetics and childhood environment can play a part, Sean focuses on how it isn’t  a condition you’re automatically born with or a physical problem that can only be numbed/treated with medication. As it’s a condition that’s learned, Sean explains how it can be unlearned.

How does Sean’s system help you to overcome social anxiety?

The cornerstone of overcoming social anxiety (in both my own and Sean’s opinion) is raising self esteem and changing your mindset. I remember that when I discovered that it was negative, inaccurate thoughts that were driving my social phobia it was like someone switching on the light. It gave me a vision of a way out of feeling isolated and uncomfortable all the time.

Hiding away at home and avoiding people isn’t the answer. Instead Sean’s answer is to embrace the fear that drives social anxiety, rather than run away from them. I know this sounds daunting, but Sean explains it really is the only long-term way – unless you want to spend your life on medication and the numbness that goes with it.

However, Sean doesn’t simply push you out the door and wish you the best. He outlines the techniques he used to respond to the uncomfortable physical and mental symptoms of social anxiety, such as muscle relaxation, acceptance of the problem and allowing yourself the flexibility to make mistakes.

The third part of the book focuses on how to correct what, most likely, is driving your social anxiety in the first place: an inaccurate value system and a low sense of self worth. Sean studies in-depth the reasons why your value system might be out of sync, such as basing your value system on comparisons with other people and why social anxiety, for many people, is driven by a feeling that you’re hiding a big secret which will cause people to reject you.

Does it cover anything new?

If you’ve already been reading up on social anxiety, been seeing a therapist or taken a cognitive behavioral therapy course then a lot of these principles probably sound familiar. And that’s not really surprising because we’re not walking around blindly grasping for explanations on what causes social anxiety. It affects millions of people around the world; it has been well researched and studied by clinical behavioral psychologists. We know why it happens and how to treat it.

However, what Sean’s book does do is offer a down practical advice on overcoming it. He writes in a friendly conversational tone that’s motivating and gets across the feeling that he’s there with you encouraging you to take the steps to deal with it. His approach of facing the fear and rewiring your brain, rather than relying on short-term coping strategies, is also a more ballsy and (in my opinion) effective approach then you might find elsewhere.

In addition, Sean goes beyond simply explaining how to feel more comfortable in social situations. He goes on to explain the steps you need to take to become more spontaneous and to speak without thinking (rather than mentally having to clear everything before you say it). This goes beyond the advice I’ve found elsewhere and can take you to a more advanced level of recovery.

What about the bonus eBooks?

In addition to the core eBook, you also get ‘What to Say Next’ and ‘Social Circle from Scratch’.

‘What to Say Next’  provides guidance on how to get better at what everyone with social anxiety struggles with: conversation. Sean explains how you can grow your conversational muscles through his ‘conversation thread technique’  which trains you to know how to respond to the things people say. The aim is that it enables you to become more immersed in subjects and conversation becomes natural as a result.

The ‘Social Circle from Scratch’ eBook outlines the tactics and techniques Sean developed for growing his social network. If you’ve been suffering from social anxiety for a long time then you might find yourself isolated and stuck at home wondering whether you’ll ever be able to enjoy the active life everyone else seems to lead. Sean explains how it can be done, through techniques such as getting on people’s social radar, ways of meeting people and how to strike up conversations.

Sean also drives home the importance of taking action. Staying at home feeling miserable is not going to help you. Taking steps, no matter how small, towards being more socially active is the only way.

I found both of the bonus eBooks to be very informative. They both covered principles I hadn’t read elsewhere and offer real, practical advice on the steps to take if you want to overcome your social anxiety and live a more fulfilling life.

So is the Shyness and Social Anxiety System worth the money?

I think deciding whether the Shyness and Social Anxiety System is worth buying really depends on where you are in your recovery. If you’ve already read some books on social anxiety (e.g. Feeling Good by Dr David Burns or Overcoming Social Anxiety by Gillian Butler) then many of the principles in the first half of the main eBook wont be anything new. However, Sean’s focus on facing the fear is an approach I’d recommend over the coping techniques covered in other books. I also think his conversational, easy to read style and the eBooks’ relatively short length will be more appealing to someone who’s just started on their road to  recovery and would like to understand the condition and what to do about it within an afternoon’s reading.

As always, if you’re suffering from severe social anxiety, and struggle to even get out of the house, then you should get professional help, whether it’s a doctor or a therapist. But in more moderate cases where you’re struggling with social interaction, suffer from the physical nervousness or want to stop feeling that you’re ‘being watched’ all the time then Sean’s system is certainly worth a look. $29 might sound like a lot, but if it saves you the time of piecing everything together yourself from around the internet, or the thought of reading a 300 page book sounds daunting, then Sean’s system is a good option. He also offers a 60 day money back guarantee, so if you’re not happy with the Shyness and Social Anxiety System then you can always get your money back.

Disclaimer – The links in this article are affiliate links. That means I earn commission for any sales of Sean’s system referred through this site. As an ex-sufferer, I hope you can trust in the fact that this is an honest review based on actually reading the books and judging how their information compares to my own experiences and research. But if you prefer, this is a non affiliated link to his website:  

http://shynesssocialanxiety.com

Panic Away is a program for treating panic and general anxiety disorder developed by Barry McDonagh, an ex sufferer. In it he details the techniques that helped him to overcome his own panic and GAD  based on 10 years of research. It comprises of a 256 page book (or eBook), videos and CDs, along with lifetime access to their private forums. At $67.99 for the digital download and $97 for the printed version it’s not exactly cheap. So is the investment worth it?

What it covers

On the sales page McDonagh emphasizes that it doesn’t use outdated techniques like deep breathing, positive affirmation or coping strategies. Instead, the focus is on embracing panic attacks and anxiety, rather than fighting against them. This can sound like a scary prospect for anyone that’s experienced the suffocating fear and overwhelming physical discomfort of a full blown panic attack. However, the idea behind it is that if you can embrace and observe the feelings and sensations when they occur you can reduce the mental conflict and learn not to fear them.

From my own experience this is similar to when I discovered that it was negative, depressive thoughts that drove my own social anxiety. I wasn’t seeing the world for what it really was, but rather looking at it through a dark filter, where people and situations seemed menacing, raising my levels of fear and anxiety as a result. Once I knew that I was thinking about things in an inaccurate, unhelpful way I was able to start questioning my uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, which over time helped to reduce my anxiety.

Another of the key principles covered in Panic Away are McDonagh’s 21-7 technique, which aims to calm panic attacks within 21 seconds, through  and general anxiety within 7 minutes, and C.A.L.M.

C.A.L.M. is based on principles that will be familiar to anyone that has undergone cognitive behavioral therapy or specialist counseling. It stands for:

C = Community: increasing your healthy interactions with other people through getting involved in clubs and local social activities. Locking yourself away isn’t going to cure you of panic or anxiety, in all its forms.

A = Acceptance: allow yourself to have panic attacks and anxiety, rather than fight against it. If you can learn to stop fearing them, and recognise they are based on unhelpful, inaccurate reactions, then you can reduce the mental conflict and their severity, until they reduce altogether.

L = Lifestyle: If you’ve been suffering from panic attacks or social anxiety for a long time then you might be in the habit of staying at home and avoiding the situations that can bring on attacks. Becoming more active, through exercise, new hobbies and healthy social activities, improving your diet and living a more fulfilling lifestyle can reduce the negative thought processes that might be driving your panic attacks or anxiety.

M = Meaning: Find a purpose in life and set yourself targets you want to achieve e.g. write a bucket list. Try and see your panic attacks or anxiety as a difficult period you’ve had to get through before continuing to live life how you want to live it.

I personally can vouch for these principles as being important parts of my own recovery from social anxiety. For me, it was a combination of learning to recognize and challenge inaccurate thoughts, regular exercise, engaging in group activities and building the confidence to go where I wanted and to do the things I wanted without letting social anxiety get in the way.

So is Panic Away worth the money?

When I first visited a doctor for my social anxiety I was swiftly put on beta blockers to ‘calm me down’. There was no mention of speaking to a psychologist or learning to unwire the negative, inaccurate thoughts driving my social anxiety. After feeling like a robot for a few days, I knew medication wasnt the answer. Instead I had to look for my own solution, and thus this website was born.

Panic Away certainly isn’t cheap. You might find the answers you need on other panic or anxiety related websites, along with the extensive range of books on Amazon. Joining a local support group or speaking to a therapist might also be better sources of help for you then this program.

However, Panic Away might be worth considering if you want everything collected together for you, rather than spend hours hunting for answers on the internet. The videos and audio recordings might also be very helpful, if the thought of wading through books for answers sounds daunting.

Panic Away is also highly recommended by ex sufferers. It’s always wise to be skeptical of these anxiety relief programs, particularly when they have such a high price tag. However, the website does provide heaps of testimonials, four of which are from doctors, along with 3000 Facebook Likes, so it’s clear Panic Away has certainly helped lots of people to reduce their panic and general anxiety. You can’t get away with fake testimonials these days, unless you want the FTC (or ASA in the UK) knocking on your door with a big fine. So I think it’s safe to say the testimonials are kosher.

Panic Away is also sold with a 60 day money back guarantee. So if you find that it’s not for you, then you can simply ask for your money back. The website also provides a free demo of the program material, along with a free email series, so it’s worth heading over just to get all the free resources that are available.

Disclaimer – Please note that the links in this article are affiliate links. This means I earn commission on any sales of Panic Away referred from this review. If you’d prefer, this is a non-affiliated link to the Panic Away program: http://www.panicaway.com/

Here is a video of Barry McDonagh discussing Panic Away on The Balancing Act TV program:

If you suffer from social anxiety then the idea of jogging around a park might seem daunting. But I’ve always highly recommended that regular exercise should be a key component of your strategy to overcoming social anxiety. It gets you out of the house and regular exercise of at least 30 minutes every day will release endorphins, which are the body’s natural feel good chemicals that can banish the negative thoughts driving your social anxiety in the first place.

And it appears that doctors would tend to agree with me. A Glasgow University survey found that jogging around a park is twice as effective at improving your mental health and sense of well being then exercising in a gym. After all, who wants to spend 30 minutes looking at the wall or watching MTV when you can be enjoying the visual sounds and smells of mother nature.

You can read more about the survey in this article in the Daily Telegraph, which also goes on to explain how exercise is recommended for treating symptoms like mild depression, insomnia, high stress and just anxious feelings that you arent able to cope.

I believe that starting to exercise every day was one of the vital keys to how I overcame social anxiety. I started off jogging and now go trekking (or bouldering to be exact), rock climbing, play football and go to the gym. So dont be afraid of starting off your exercise routine small and then building it up as you go along your path towards overcoming social anxiety for good.

BBC radio show The Daily Bacon recently featured an interview with sports psychiatrist Dr Steve Peters about his new book ‘The Chimp Paradox’.

Dr Peters has helped the British Olympic Cycling Team to improve their mental processes and has worked with hospital patients suffering from depression and other mental health issues for 20 years. So when he shares his insights on how you can improve your thought processes and quality of life, you tend to listen.

You can listen to the podcast by clicking here (or right clicking and downloading), and then fast forwarding to 20 mins 40 seconds (after an interview with Simon Mayo). The reason I’m writing about this is because of the parallels between what he describes as the ‘chimp’ part of the brain and the unhelpful, negative and irrational thoughts that cause social anxiety.

It’s the chimp that causes impulsive and inaccurate thoughts and reactions

Dr Peters describes the brain (based on a simplification of clinical research) as having three parts:

1)      The human front – our rational thoughts and how we’d like to feel and behave
2)      The chimp – our irrational thoughts that cause us to think and behave in an unhelpful manner i.e. feel anxious in social situations
3)       The computer – all the knowledge and experience we’ve accumulated over our lives

It’s the chimp part that causes us to react impulsively to situations before our rational part kicks in. And research shows that social anxiety is caused by irrational and unhelpful thoughts that are rooted in our fight or flee mechanism. So to reduce your anxiety, you need to be able to counter the chimp part of your brain.

Dr Peters doesn’t go into details on how you can do this on the podcast, other than that his model incorporates elements of cognitive behavioural therapy. I haven’t read the book (I managed to beat my social anxiety a few years ago through a combination of CBT, exercise, living a more active lifestyle and taking up social hobbies which involved interaction with other people), but it gets a five star rating based on 39 reviews on Amazon. You can find out more by clicking here (yes, it’s an affiliate link, but I only recommend products I genuinely believe cam help you).

The podcast also features a clip of former England rugby international player Brian Moore (skip to 30 mins 50 seconds) talking about his inner golumn, which used to cause him to suffer from negative thoughts but it’s a voice he’s now learned to ignore.

‘Don’t engage your inner golumn on a long, fruitless discussion you can never win’

When I first started on my journey to beat social anxiety I had no idea it was even a treatable condition until I started researching it on the web (and when I visited a doctor they just put me straight on medication!).

But there seems to be a growing understanding amongst psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals on the fact that its inaccurate, unhelpful and irrational thoughts that cause issues like social anxiety disorder, and as such they need to be challenged or simply ignored.

If you suffer from social anxiety disorder, simple everyday activities, such as going to the shops or standing on a crowded bus, can seem daunting. Worrying about what other people think of you and if something bad will happen blights the lives of millions every day.

Thankfully, I learned to overcome my anxiety through learning more about the mental triggers and the underlying causes. I created this website to share what worked for me in the hope that it can help others overcome their social anxiety disorder (and without medication!) and live a happier, more fulfilled life free from the fear of strangers.

I’m guessing you arrived here whilst hunting for info on social anxiety disorder. Answers to questions like ‘Why does it happen to me?’, ‘Why do I feel afraid of people I don’t even know, am I crazy?’ and, most importantly, ‘What can I do about it?’.

The reason why I know this is because I did exactly the same thing myself a few years ago.

Social anxiety disorder had put a dark cloud over my life since my teenage years.

Simple everyday things, like catching a bus, walking around the shops or going out to meet friends, were a struggle because of overpowering feelings of nervousness, panic and fear over who I might meet or what might happen .

To combat the symptoms I used to ‘self medicate’ to get through social situations. But this just made me feel ten times worse later on.

Eventually my life reached a point where I had a simple choice – continue suffering in silence and simply coping day to day, or do something about it.

So off I went to see my doctor for advice on what I should do.

Unfortunately, as has happened to many people suffering from social anxiety disorder, I was swiftly prescribed a course of beta blockers to help ‘calm me down’.

Suffice to say this wasnt the answer I was looking for – unless you want to feel like a subdued, unemotional robot all day.

So I decided to look for some answers of my own.

Changing the Way You Think WILL Change the Way You Feel

It was while looking into the causes of anxiety that I started finding out about the more specific symptom of social anxiety disorder.

After reading through a number of books on the subject and blogs of other sufferers, I started to discover more about the condition – what causes it and what you can do to overcome it.

I then set about applying what I’d learned to my daily life and making changes to the way I thought about things, how I reacted to situations and making lifestyle changes so I became more active and raised my self esteem.

I wasnt cured overnight. But with practice and patience, the changes I made to how I thought about the people around me and how I reacted to social situations helped me to gradually reduce the fear, nervous thoughts and uncomfortable feelings of social anxiety disorder.

I can still feel anxious from time to time. But my social anxiety disorder is nowhere near the levels it was. It no longer stops me from going where I want to go or doing the things I want to do. And my life has vastly improved as a result.

Rather than being stuck at home, I’m now out living my life, taking part in activities like rock climbing and trekking, and I can even go out and meet friends without worrying what other people are thinking.

I created this website to help others struggling with social anxiety disorder by writing about the strategies and tactics that worked for me in the hope they can help other people as well.

If you suffer from social anxiety disorder simple everyday activities, such as going to the shops or standing on a crowded bus, can seem daunting. Worrying about what other people think of you and if something bad will happen blights the lives of millions around the world.

In fact, it’s estimated that 15 million people in the US suffer from an anxiety disorder and 2.3 million in the UK. So if you suffer from social phobia you’re not alone.

However, you’ll be pleased to know that anxiety isn’t something you have to live with for the rest of your life. It can be just a difficult phase you’ve had to deal with, because it’s clinically proven that you CAN discover how to think in a happier, healthier manner, which will help your anxiety to reduce.

By reading my eBook and practicing its self help strategies you’ll discover how to respond to situations more objectively and how to feel more relaxed around people you don’t know.

Thanks a million. You are a really insightful and compassionate writer, not to mention, accessible writer.

Why you need to take action

If you suffer from social phobia then you probably already know how uncomfortable the effects can be. The physical and mental symptoms can be so overpowering that you might avoid social situations altogether, preferring the safety of your home.

But hiding away from the world is not the answer. Avoiding people might protect you from feeling nervous in the short-term. But isolating yourself from friends and family can lead to depression because of your withdrawal from an active, fulfilling life.

Some sufferers turn to alcohol or illegal drugs to try and block out the symptoms. But this will merely make you feel worse in the long run and prevent you from dealing with the root cause of your problem. Even worse, it can lead to alcoholism or drug addiction, heaping yet more problems onto your plate.

But you don’t have to put up with social anxiety forever. It can be just a difficult phase you’ve been through before moving on with the rest of your life.

In recent decades, a lot of research has been conducted into what causes anxiety and depression, and what can be done to treat its symptoms.

As a result, therapeutic techniques have been developed to help sufferers reduce their uncomfortable thoughts, and discover how to think, feel and behave in a happier, healthier manner free from excessive anxious worries.

THANK YOU for providing this wonderful website. I’ve just now discovered, at age 36, that I might have SAD. I googled it, and came across your website, and everything is now making perfect sense as to why I feel and act the way I do

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a well researched and widely used form of psychotherapy for treating depression and anxiety. It’s recommended by the UK’s National Health Service, is taught by therapists all over the world and has helped thousands overcome social phobia.

Depression and anxiety are driven by unhelpful thoughts that are illogical and inaccurate. CBT provides a series of goal driven strategies for identifying these unhelpful thoughts and then showing you how to replace them with more realistic, objective ways of thinking.

As you learn to think about things more clearly, you’ll start to change the way you feel, and your anxiety will gradually reduce as a result.

Cognitive behavioural therapy has helped many thousands to reduce their anxiety, and live happier, more fulfilling lives.

And it can help you too.

“As I read more and more about SAD, I am discovering that THIS has been the very thing keeping me from my full potential in life, and it feels so good to have a “name” for this condition I have been
plagued with, ever since childhood.”

How my eBook can help reduce your social anxiety

Whilst there are already some excellent books on CBT, many people feel daunted at having to wade through a 300 page book to find the answers they need.

My 59 page eBook is designed to be an easy to read guide to social anxiety. It provides a series of self help CBT strategies for discovering how to think in a healthier manner (and I’ve also added all the articles on this site).

It includes sections on:

• What causes social anxiety
• What are the unhelpful thoughts that make you feel anxious
• How to work out your belief system
• How to replace your negative beliefs with more helpful, positive thoughts and feelings
• Why you feel the way that you think
• Achieving self acceptance and why you’re not worthless
• How to climb a ladder to a better life
• Ways of coping with socially anxious situations
• Reinforcing your new ways of thinking
• Where you can turn for further help

Reading your website, and reading other SAD blogs has inspired me to blog myself, just a way to journal and have others witness my journey as I find a way to live with SAD.

Changing the way you think will change the way you feel

With practice and patience, the techniques explained in my eBook will help you to improve the way you think and feel. As your new objective ways of thinking take hold, and become a natural part of the way you respond to situations, your anxiety will gradually reduce.

Situations that previously made you feel nervous, such as eating in a restaurant or going shopping, won’t seem so daunting and you’ll find it easier to interact with strangers in social situations.

Cognitive behavioural therapy has helped thousands overcome their social phobia and live more active, fulfilling lives. It helped me, and my hope is that the strategies in my eBook will help you too.

“Thank you SO much for inspiring me. I just LOVE the Internet!”

Money back guarantee

Cognitive behavioural therapy is clinically proven to help people suffering from depression or anxiety to think in a more positive manner, which in turn improves the way they feel. However, changing the way your brain works and how you respond to situations won’t happen overnight.

It takes practice and patience to change the way you think, feel and behave; my eBook provides you with a goal driven strategy for doing it.

However, if after three months of practising the techniques in my eBook you feel your social anxiety hasn’t reduced then I’ll refund your money in full (email: matt@socialanxietydisorder.org.uk).

My only request is that you don’t allow this to stop you on your journey to discovering how you CAN overcome social phobia, because you just to find another path and there’s plenty of help available to help you find your way.

£2.88 ($4.45)

(If you’re using Google’s Chrome browser, please right click on ‘Add to Cart’ and select ‘open link in new tab’)

P.S. My eBook provides an easy to read guide on social anxiety and a series of self help cognitive behavioural therapy exercises taught by clinical psychotherapists to help people think in a healthier, happier manner.

You feel the way that you think, and discovering how you can think more positively is clinically proven to help reduce anxiety and social phobia.

It was only after entering into adulthood that my social anxiety started to become a more serious problem.

Eventually I reached a crossroads where I could either continue feeling isolated, and subconsciously threatened by other people, or do something about it. I could see where life was heading if I didn’t – and it didn’t look good.

So I want to see my doctor to see what they could suggest and was prescribed propranolol (a beta blocker mainly used to treat hypertension) to ‘calm me down’. Whilst propranolol did calm my nerves (slightly) it wasnt doing anything to counter the negative thoughts that kept hammering away at me whenever I was out in public.

So I decided to do some research of my own. After getting past all the websites promising miracle cures in pill form, I discovered that I wasn’t alone in suffering from nerves in social situations and that it was a recognized condition which could be treated with therapy and being able to change the negative thoughts that caused anxiety.

I then bought a few books on cognitive behavioral therapy and started to practice all the strategies they advised for changing the way I thought about things. I also made a few lifestyle changes (exercising and being more active rather then being slumped in front of the TV feeling miserable) to help raise my self confidence.

Improvement didnt happen overnight. But as I continued practicing cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, I gradually found thinking more positively became a more natural part of the way my mind worked. This in turn reduced the physical symptoms and made leaving the house a less worrying prospect.

Whilst I cant say I’m suddenly ‘cured’ (whether you ever can be) I now have a much healthier outlook on life and feel much more confident in the way I approach social situations. Social phobia now doesn’t stop me going where I want and doing what I want to do. The thoughts are sometimes still there, but now I can just ignore them because I know they’re inaccurate and unhelpful.

I wrote my eBook to provide other people suffering from social anxiety with a guide to understanding their problem, what causes it and the strategies they can use to overcome it. They worked for me, so hopefully they’ll work for other people too and help them feel more confident, happy and relaxed in social situations.

Should you wish to contact me, my email address is:

Matt@socialanxietydisorder.org.uk

Social anxiety disorder is a difficult problem to overcome. But not impossible.

Once you’ve accepted that it’s inaccurate thoughts causing you to feel anxious you can start working on changing them. Because changing the way you think will change the way you feel.

My advice would be to look at it as a long term campaign you’ll need to engage, rather than hoping for a short term ‘miracle’ cure from medication.

Here’s my suggestion for steps your campaign to defeat social anxiety could take:

1. Read as much as you can about social anxiety disorder

Luckily, it’s no longer an unknown problem, and there are plenty of websites and books on the subject.

I can personally recommend these books:

Overcoming Social Anxiety – Gillian Butler

Feeling Good  – Dr David D. Burns

The Dummies Guide to Social Phobia  – Rob Wilson and Rhena Branch

2. Talk to your friends and family about it

Not easy I know, but confiding in someone else and explaining why you sometimes feel overly nervous will help release some of the pressure on yourself. They might also be able to help and will be more understanding when you start feeling anxious in social situations.

3. Take up new hobbies and be more active

Filling you life with new interests can give you more of a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction and self confidence. Humans are inherently doers, and lying in bed all day hiding under the bedcovers will simply make you feel worse in the long run and prevents you overcoming your problem. If you don’t feel comfortable joining local sports teams or special interest clubs then take up a hobby you can work on at home, such as a new musical instrument, reading or teaching yourself how to cook delicious gourmet dishes.

4. Exercise

I can’t emphasise how effective regular exercise can be at relieving anxiety. I’d recommend jogging for half and hour everyday if you can manage it, otherwise just go for a stroll or exercise at home (press ups, situps etc). Getting in shape will boost your confidence, help you be more active and there’s truth in the old adage ‘a healthy body means a healthy mind’.

5. Gradually expose yourself to the situations that make you feel nervous

Although this can be a struggle, this is the strategy recommended by cognitive therapists for gradaully overcoming the inaccurate physical and mental symptoms of social anxiety. Write a list of the situations your afraid of. Put them in order from the least scary to the terrifying worst and then gradually try to work through them, exposing yourself for a little bit longer each time.

At the end of the day, you’ll need to find your own path to overcoming social anxiety. But always remember that you can learn to change the way you think. And changing the way you think will change the way you feel, and behave.

Whilst on YouTube I also stumbled upon this video featuring a former sufferer who has managed to overcome his social anxiety by realising why certain situations made him feel uncomfortable and then learning what he needed to do to overcome his social phobia.

I hope you find the videos useful, and you might also like to read some of the comments underneath to remind yourself that you’re not alone and that social anxiety is more common than you might think.