UK School Kids Given Lessons on How to Be Happy

September 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment

You feel the way that you think, and now UK school children are being taught how to think more positively to help them cope with the stresses of teenage life. Initially, 1500 11-year olds from 22 schools are being given lessons on how to assess situations objectively, how to be assertive and many other skills that can help them cope better with emotionally difficult situations. If the scheme is a success then it could be expanded into class rooms on a national scale.

The scheme uses lessons taught in the USA by the Penn Resiliency Program, based in Philadelphia, which adopts tried and tested cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to ‘detect inaccurate thoughts, to evaluate the accuracy of those thoughts, and to challenge negative beliefs by considering alternative interpretations’.

Teaching children cognitive behavioural therapy could help them avoid problems later on in life

Whilst some might remember their school days with fond memories, childhood can be a difficult period because of peer pressure, the desire to fit in and having to cope with all the struggles of teenage life.

Psychotherapists believe that it’s during childhood that you form your belief system: opinions on yourself, other people and the world around you. Upsetting childhood experiences, such as being neglected or bullied, can lead to problems later on in life because of the negative associations you attach to similar situations.

So equipping impressionable school children with the skills to identify inaccurate, unhelpful thoughts and then to replace them with healthier, happier ways of thinking could prove invaluable in helping them grow into secure, confident adults.

Treatment for anxiety and depression is a global issue

In a 2006 international survey UK children ranked bottom for happiness and well being. Some blame celebrity culture, with its focus on money and possessions, for giving children an unhelpful value system (although the problem is far more complicated than a single root cause). However, teaching them how to feel confident and secure, without needing the latest designer clobber or the approval of others, could be coming at just the right time.

Awareness on the effectiveness of cognitive behavioural therapy, for treating anxiety and depression, is spreading all the time. The UK’s ‘happiness tsar’ Professor Richard Layard even believes it could help people living on benefits to get back to work.

With depression the world’s biggest mental health problem, teaching more people cognitive behavioural therapy (whether self taught, with a therapist or in a group) could make a positive impact on not just on the lives of children but society in general.

Posted by Matt | Filed Under Blog, Childhood, Social anxiety news, cognitive behavioral therapy, depression 

Feeling moody? Maybe it’s the weather

September 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment

[photo courtesy James Jordan]

The brain is a complicated muscle, but one we’re learning more about all the time. Most people aren’t adversely affected by the changes in the weather as summer draws to a close, whilst some feel moody, drained and depressed with the arrival of cold winds and gray skies.

In the news recently the results of research was announced that identified a biological reason why two million people in the UK suffer from seasonal affective disorder.

Scientists from the Centre of Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Canada, conducted brain scans of 88 adults. They discovered that those who experienced low moods and depression in winter had a higher level of a specific protein than those who were unaffected by seasonal changes.

It’s believed that the identified protein soaks up serotonin (feel good chemical) in the brain, causing an adverse effect on people’s mood. It’s long been known that depression is accompanied by low serotonin levels, so the research further emphasises how important a healthy mind and body are for your sense of well being.

With anxiety being such a complicated and deep rooted issue I’d suggest that other factors are probably at play along with the higher levels of a certain protein. However, the fact that scientists are now able to identify some of the biological reasons why the brain behaves in a certain way emphasises the strides being made in understanding anxiety in all its forms.

Full story: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2666173/Winter-blues-Causes-of-SAD-revealed.html

Posted by Matt | Filed Under Blog, Social anxiety news 

Smiling Better than Prozac for Overcoming Depression and Anxiety

July 28, 2008 | 2 Comments

smiling

[Photo courtesy of Ferdinand Reus]

Since embarking on my voyage into understanding what causes anxiety and its effects rarely a week passes without hearing news on how it can be treated. From everything I’ve heard I believe that popping ‘happy pills’, such as Prozac, on their own are not the answer. Drugs can help cushion some of anxiety and depression’s harsher symptoms, but you have to change the way you think and behave for long term recovery.

In the UK’s national news today the findings of research by Professor Jane Plant and Janet Stephenson (National Health Service psychologist) were announced, which are described in their new book: ‘Beating Stress, Anxiety and Depression’.

With 2.4 million Brits estimated to suffer from anxiety and one in six expected to experience depression at some stage, the two experts’ constructive suggestions, based on scientific evidence, have been well received.

Their advice is to change your diet, behaviour and appearance to improve your self esteem and sense of well being. Relying on a prescription from the doctor alone to solve your problem is not the answer (although a visit is always recommended on your road to recovery).

Their suggestions include:

  • Smile - even if you feel the weight of anxiety pushing down on you, at least appearing happier and more approachable will improve how people respond to you. This in turn can help lift your mood and improve how you interact with others.
  • Eat fish packed with omega-3 fatty acids for breakfast and porridge at night to help you sleep.
  • Make lifestyle changes to be more active such as going out dancing (any form of regular exercise is highly recommended if not essential)
  • Treat yourself to a new hairstyle or clothes to improve your self confidence (I’d suggest this is more of a temporary measure and relying on ‘retail therapy’ to improve your mood poses its own risks)
  • Avoid living a materialistic lifestyle or getting sucked into celebrity culture - everybody has their strengths and weaknesses and you shouldn’t regard touched up images and glamorised lifestyles as a yardstick for valuing yourself as a human being.

I think any book that uses scientific evidence to show that you need to change the way you think and behave in order to overcome depression and anxiety is a welcome addition to any bookshelf.

You might have to find your own path to a happier, more fulfilling life, but there’s are plenty of helpful information on the web and on bookstore shelves to help you find the way.

Posted by Matt | Filed Under Blog, Social anxiety news, social anxiety disorder 

‘Social Viagra’ anti-anxiety drug announced

June 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment

In the news recently a new anti-anxiety drug was announced that uses oxytocin hormones released by mothers when they bond with their newborn babies. The results of trials appear to be encouraging, with 120 patients reported to be relieved of their social anxiety within half an hour.

The report also highlights how millions of people suffer from shyness or social anxiety in the UK. One in ten say it affects their daily lives, with many seeking refuge in drink and illegal drugs to try and alleviate the symptoms.

There have been plenty of false dawns in the promises of drugs that can cure people of their anxiety. However, If ’social viagra’ proves to be as effective as is being reported then it can certainly help soften the uncomfortable  feelings of anxiety, and make learning how to change the way you think and feel that little bit easier.

I (along with many psychologists and doctors) don’t think that the long-term approach to overcoming social anxiety is in pill form. Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches you how to identify the uncomfortable thoughts that cause your anxiety, realize they’re illogical and then how to adopt more helpful, objective ways of thinking and feeling.

CBT isn’t a magic bullet (unlike the promises made by many drug companies). But it has clinically proven to be effective for thousands of people who have struggled with anxiety, depression or both.

On a brighter note, it’s fascinating to think that an anti-anxiety drug could be used to make people more generous, to create a soothing atmosphere in restauarants or to replace tear gas for riot control.

Posted by admin | Filed Under Blog, Social anxiety news 

How to Say ‘No’ for a Less Stressful or Anxious Life

May 12, 2008 | 1 Comment

saying no

[Image courtesy of ganessas]

Feeling that you have to say ‘yes’ to every request for help is a symptom of the ‘disease to please’. Whilst doing favours for people is just part of everyday life, sometimes running errands for friends or covering for work colleagues can be an unfair demand on your free time.

But if you suffer from social anxiety then saying ‘no’ can be difficult because of your fear of displeasing people or being rejected. It’s a mistake to think this way, and living your life running around trying to keep other people happy is not the recipe for healthy relationships in which your needs are respected.

So learning how to be more assertive and say a simple two letter word can be the magic pill to help reduce your stress levels and boost your self esteem.

In my previous post about learning to be assertive, I discussed how you have to take a step back and objectively assess the personal cost of requests before reaching a decision. But just saying ‘no’ is still fraught with hazards if you’re socially anxious or lack confidence.

You have to learn how to be assertive in turning down requests so that people respect your decision.

How to say ‘no’ assertively

Firstly, take a sledgehammer to the people pleasing thought pattern that says you ‘always have to be nice’ and not doing what people ask is selfish. Your free time is just as important as everybody else’s, and if picking up someone else’s laundry means you wont be able to go on your daily jog then say ‘no’. If a request is going to be an unfair personal cost then saying ‘no’ is just being fair to yourself rather than being selfish.

Here are a few tips on how to say ‘no’ assertively to convince others you mean it and are being fair:

  • If you’re asked to lend someone money and you’re worried they might not pay you back say, “I wish I could, but as a rule I don’t lend money to friends.” Unpaid debts can sour relationships, so sidestep the risk by declining in a way that doesn’t make it personal.
  • Be helpful by offering suggestions or alternatives to solve the problem - “I’m unavailable that week, but why don’t you ask Ted if he can feed your cat.”
  • Negotiate around your reasons for declining a request (negotiation is a key assertiveness skill which I’ll be discussing in my next post) - “No I can’t cover your shift this week, but how about you cover for me next Tuesday and then I’ll cover for you the following week?”
  • Be polite but firm. If they won’t take no for an answer simply repeat your position in different ways until they get the message, or get bored of asking - “As I already said…”
  • Don’t make up excuses. It’s always better to tell the truth or just say it’s inconvenient. You only have to get caught out once to damage people’s trust in you.
  • Place a limit on the time you can commit or specify a day. That way you can prevent helping clean out a neighbour’s garage grow into wallpapering their spare room.
  • Whenever possible, allow yourself time to assess what is being asked of you. Say you’ll get back to them later so you aren’t under pressure to make a rushed decision you might regret later on.
  • Deciding whether to give a long or short answer can vary, but don’t sound overly apologetic or make excuses. Saying your busy or don’t have time should be enough.

Whilst helping out friends, family and work colleagues can be good karma, being able to say ‘no’ when it’s an unfair drain on your own free time is what you have to be able to do for a less stressful life. Remember that spending time pursuing your goals and priorities is just as important as everyone else’s. So learn to say ‘no’ assertively without shame to overcome your social anxiety fears and cure yourself of the ‘disease to please’.

Posted by admin | Filed Under Blog, Childhood, Social anxiety news, anxiety treatment, meditation, social anxiety disorder 

How To Be Assertive Even When You’re Socially Anxious

May 5, 2008 | 3 Comments

assertive

[photo courtesy of aurevoirkatie]

Being asked to do favours and to help people out is just a part of everyday life. Whilst being able to decline requests if they’re too inconvenient isn’t a problem for most, if you’re socially anxious then being able to say ‘No’ is fraught with hazards. The trick is knowing how to be fair to yourself in assessing whether to do the favour, and then being assertive in how you respond.

Being assertive is simply being able to voice your own opinions and feelings firmly so that they’re considered fairly by other people. If you suffer from social anxiety then this can be easier said then done because of the fear of displeasing people and being rejected if you don’t fulfil their demands.

Rather than risk being viewed negatively as selfish or unhelpful, you can feel forced into saying ‘Yes’ even when you think a request is an unreasonable drain on your time and energy.

Avoid the unhelpful extremes of passivity or aggression

The problem with being too passive and always fitting in with what others want is that some people will take advantage of your desire to ‘always be nice’ and will simply heap greater demands on you. This in turn will lead to you getting mad with yourself because you’ll feel that you’re constantly running around at other people’s beck and call.

The other extreme is to respond aggressively to unreasonable demands in the false notion that anger equates to strength. When you’re behaving aggressively you lose the ability to think or act rationally, making it even harder to express why you think the request is unfair.

Raising your voice and trying to be intimidating can also have the reverse effect of making other people become aggressive themselves, and the situation deteriorate into the sort of ugly confrontation you’d normally be desperate to avoid.

Relying on anger to protect yourself against unreasonable demands is not how to make friends or influence people.

Assertiveness is about being balanced

As with overcoming many of the problems associated with social anxiety, being assertive is all about being balanced in your thinking and behaviour, and staying away from the extremes of passivity or aggression.

Whether you’re asked to cover for someone at work, lend people money or run errands for them, when people make demands you need to objectively assess the fairness of the request being made. Your feelings, opinions and time are just as important as everybody else’s, so you need to consider whether the requests being made of you are fair. Would you feel comfortable asking someone else to do the same thing?

If after assessing the request and you think it’s unreasonable, because of a high personal cost in terms of time and energy, then in order to be fair to yourself you have to be able to say ‘No’. As long as you’re fair and objective, saying ‘No’ doesn’t mean your selfish or uncaring.

However, actually being able to say ‘No’ presents many challenges in itself. I’ll be offering advice on developing assertiveness skills so people accept your decision in my next article.

Being assertive isn’t about winning, but about getting your point across and ensuring your own opinions and feelings are considered fairly, because they’re just as important as everybody else’s.

Posted by admin | Filed Under Blog, Childhood, Social anxiety news, anxiety treatment, depression, social anxiety disorder